Late-Night Personalities Lampoon Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

TV's top entertainers devoted their broadcast criticizing former President Donald Trump's recently announced immigration initiative, dubbed the "Trump card," portraying it as a obvious cash-for-residency scheme for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Witty Take

Kicking off his show, Stephen Colbert offered a satirical holiday tune directed at the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, and then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... ruins all he touches."

The focus was the controversial initiative that allows foreign individuals to purchase U.S. residency for the price of one million dollars, or "top-tier" option for 5 million. An official portal pledges approval "in record time."

"A quick note here to rich applicants: before you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the program is also meant to "extract cash" from firms wanting to hire foreign workers, involving significant fees. "That's a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you also get free accommodation at a property of your choice – as long as it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he said.

"The most thorough background check the government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these individuals completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Roast

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will let wealthy overseas citizens to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your selection."

"It might be time to update that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your poor masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the form, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Concerns

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining poll ratings during economic concerns. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were mad about the economy," he said.

Recently, in a effort to tackle cost of living, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, and reacted oddly to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"He's so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting right-leaning media coverage of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy like what FIFA did," he laughed.