The Phrases shared by A Parent That Helped Us when I became a Brand-New Father

"I believe I was just just surviving for twelve months."

Ex- Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey anticipated to manage the demands of fatherhood.

But the truth rapidly proved to be "very different" to what he'd imagined.

Severe health issues around the birth resulted in his partner Louise admitted to hospital. Suddenly he was thrust into acting as her chief support in addition to looking after their baby boy Leo.

"I handled each nighttime feed, every nappy change… every walk. The role of both mum and dad," Ryan shared.

After nearly a year he burnt out. That was when a chat with his own dad, on a bench in the park, that led him to understand he required support.

The simple statement "You aren't in a healthy space. You must get assistance. In what way can I assist you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, ask for help and regain his footing.

His experience is far from unique, but seldom highlighted. Although people is now more accustomed to talking about the strain on mothers and about post-natal depression, far less attention is paid about the challenges dads encounter.

'It's not weak to request support'

Ryan believes his challenges are part of a wider reluctance to communicate among men, who continue to internalise damaging perceptions of manhood.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the rock that just gets hit and doesn't fall with each wave."

"It isn't a sign of failure to ask for help. I didn't do that quick enough," he adds.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher specialising in mental health pre and post childbirth, explains men frequently refuse to admit they're having a hard time.

They can think they are "not a legitimate person to be seeking help" - especially ahead of a mother and child - but she emphasises their mental well-being is just as important to the unit.

Ryan's conversation with his dad gave him the opportunity to request a respite - taking a short trip abroad, away from the family home, to get a fresh outlook.

He realised he needed to make a change to consider his and his partner's emotions as well as the day-to-day duties of caring for a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he realised he'd overlooked "what she longed for" -physical connection and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has transformed how Ryan perceives being a dad.

He's now composing Leo regular notes about his experiences as a dad, which he hopes his son will look at as he matures.

Ryan hopes these will enable his son to more fully comprehend the language of feelings and make sense of his approach to fatherhood.

The idea of "self-parenting" is something artist Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

As a child Stephen was without stable male a father figure. Despite having an "incredible" relationship with his dad, long-standing difficult experiences meant his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says suppressing emotions caused him to make "terrible actions" when in his youth to alter how he felt, seeking comfort in alcohol and substances as escapism from the hurt.

"You gravitate to behaviours that don't help," he says. "They can briefly alter how you are feeling, but they will eventually exacerbate the problem."

Tips for Coping as a New Father

• Open up to someone - if you're feeling overwhelmed, speak to a family member, your spouse or a therapist how you're feeling. Doing so may to lighten the load and make you feel less alone.
• Keep up your interests - make time for the things that made you feel like yourself before having a baby. This might be exercising, meeting up with mates or playing video games.
• Look after the physical health - eating well, getting some exercise and when you can, getting some sleep, all are important in how your mind is coping.
• Meet other new dads - listening to their journeys, the difficult parts, and also the positive moments, can help to validate how you're feeling.
• Know that asking for help isn't failing - prioritising your own well-being is the most effective way you can look after your family.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen understandably had difficulty processing the passing, having not spoken to him for years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's resolved not to "continue the chain" with his child and instead give the security and emotional guidance he missed out on.

When his son threatens to have a meltdown, for example, they practise "shaking it out" together - processing the feelings constructively.

The two men Ryan and Stephen say they have become improved and more well-rounded men since they confronted their struggles, changed how they talk, and learned to manage themselves for their kids.

"I have improved at… dealing with things and managing things," states Stephen.

"I put that down in a message to Leo recently," Ryan says. "I expressed, on occasion I think my role is to guide and direct you on life, but actually, it's a dialogue. I'm learning an equal amount as you are in this journey."